After going to bed at an already late hour (I have class on Thursday night until 10 PM, but then Modern Family felt left out so I had to watch a few episodes before I went to bed.), I was rudely awaken by heavy and constant knocking on my front door.
My first instinct was to check my phone. It couldn't possibly be my roommates locked out, they would have called me. And I was pretty certain they were both sound asleep in their rooms next to me anyways. The knocking only increased in sound so I made myself get out of bed at, get this, 3:30 in the morning. Seriously, who the heck was pounding on my door at 3:30 AM!? That's when I heard, "IT'S THE POLICE." and saw a flashlight shining through the front window.
Okay, this is a first. Haven't dealt with this one before.
I opened my door and the police officer asked if that was my car parked in front of my house. Why yes, that was mine. He then proceeded to say, "Ma'am, someone broke into your car." At this I rolled my eyes. I may have mentioned this before, but for those of you who don't know, my driver's side window is permanently stuck down. So it's more of a: "Did they really "break-in", or did they just open my door since there's a window that's always down granting access to all that pass by?" He confirmed that it was the latter and that the content of my glove box had been emptied onto my seat.
Police Officer: Do you want to check to see what's missing?
Me: "No, not really. I don't keep anything of value in my car."
Translation: I want to go back to sleep.
Police Office: "Well you see, we have this guy contained down the street that might have done it and if we find something on him that belonged to you, we can arrest him."
Translation: I really want to arrest this punk. Can you please help me find some evidence?
Me: Let me find some shoes and I'll check.
Police Office: *squeal of delight*
Me: Okay, it doesn't look like anything is missing.
Police Officer: Well you better take your CD case inside so that no one steals that.
Me: Oh, I actually wish someone would steal it. I'm sure they'd love all my CD mixes from high school. Summer of '08 is a classic.
Police Officer: *crickets*
Me: There's also one of those mini-Christmas trees in my trunk, I'm surprise he didn't want that. I mean, free Christmas tree, amiright?
Police Officer: *crickets*
Police Officer: You better change your registration to your current address so if this ever happens again, you can be found. You're suppose to change your address within 21 days of moving.
Translation: Your jokes are lame.
Me: Okay, well I have work in the morning so I'm going to bed.
Translation: If you're not going to laugh at any of my hilarious jokes after waking me up at 3:30 in the morning, I don't want to hang out with you.
PS- This confirmed my suspicion that both my roommates would sleep through a house fire, a Lion King stampede, a flash flood caused by playing Jumanji, etc and so forth.