July 24, 2013

craigslist ad for the win

if this is still available, it's a done deal.
"Dropped 88' Mazda B2200, guaranteed to melt some faces. In need of the prow to seduce the lady of your dreams? Wanna stick it to the man from a few inches off the ground? If the latter's the case (and it most likely is) then this kickin' chicken car is for you. I bought this car in 2009 and immediately grew a mustache upon taking it for a spin. This car WILL turn you into a man (or woman depending upon the buyer). At the very least you'll be transformed into something, maybe a bear.

Features: It might change you into a bear (anything's possible, just saying).

It's got gears and stuff: Unlike the 'lazy good-for-nothing' car culture of today, people in 1988 used 3 pedals like red-blooded Americans. Keep this simple equation in mind: 5 speed manual= not a communist.

Sporty racing seats: Nothing says, "I feel like I'm going faster than I actually am" like some quality seats.

Steering wheel: You'll need this.

Wheels: They're necessary.

Four-cylinder engine: You probably won't blow your neighbor's Mustang out of the water, but you'll have plenty of time to steal his wife while he's busy filling his tank. 28mpg's means plenty of time for cougar cruisin'.

It purrs like a kitten, literally. With 111,958 original miles this car still has plenty of head-turning left to do.

Fabulous features not enough? I'll throw in my friendship to sweeten the deal. You (the new owner of a fabulous yellow truck) will call me Nathaniel Dibbington. I (Nathaniel Dibbington) will sit shotgun regaling you with tales of manly exploits as we sing songs, navigate the treacherous waters of the Tigris, and climb the stony Caucasus mountain pass.

If you're interested, swing by and fall in love. Also, the Mazda B2200 is technically a truck. It has a bed and various truck-like components."

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